We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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