from now on my penis is your penis
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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