I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
