Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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