WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
