he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
