Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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