You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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