talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
