TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
