the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
