Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
