I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
