We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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