If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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