My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
