you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
