Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
