She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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