I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
