Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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