that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
