Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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