butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
