i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
