you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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