I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
