Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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