Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
