So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
