Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
