Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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