Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
