Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
