In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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