We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
