he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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