I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
