i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
