i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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