she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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