i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
