just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
