You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
