I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
