At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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