508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
