the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
