I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
