the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will pee on everything he values.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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