I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
