Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
