The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
