wanna go halves on a baby?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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