D3 body, D1 cock
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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