weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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