Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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