puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
