I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize