Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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