The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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