Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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