so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
